Top Signs You Are a Geek @ WPI
Now with over 500 entries! Updated 22 May 2007!
To link to a specific entry, go to http://alum.wpi.edu/~jlally/index.html#entrynumber where entrynumber = entry number
e.g. link to entry 271: http://alum.wpi.edu/~jlally/index.html#271
Additions? E-mail: email@example.com. Submissions complete with photographs are funny!!
- You can't take "blow off" courses like basket weaving -- instead you can take "blow
off" courses like English, or ME 1800.
- Big movies of the term: Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Star Trek.
School Cheer has 13 mathematical expressions in it.
- Greek letters are used in classrooms, not just Fraternity houses.
- Pine, Maple, and Elm aren't just types of trees on campus.
- "Meridian Mail...mailbox??"
- People go to parties on Friday nights, involving computers.
- You can be fingered, and it's not dirty.
- There are two girls in your lecture. But that's normal.
- You watch movies/TV/do Tae-Bo off of your computer.
- Your Web Development Office
plays an April Fools Joke and redoes the school website.
- You have a Web Development Office.
- You all sit around and talk about how poorly engineered the school is:
- Plastic pillars outside Fuller and in the Campus Center
- The presence of "half floors" and "Sub-basements" on campus
- The library steps (just too short to walk comfortably)
- Ceiling heights shrink in Riley Hall and Washburn stairwells
- The lack of symmetry in the new WPI welcome signs.
- The sinking Campus Center.
- Your friend has a WAD (WPI Acronym Dictionary) on his website.
- Your student newspaper got its previous name (Newspeak) from "1984" by George Orwell.
- The network is down and you are pissed. Your whole day is ruined and you are forced to come out of your room and socialize.
- You have the Management Department, Robotics Lab and Nuclear Reactor all in the same building.
- The schoolís prized historic piece is a bronzed decapitated goatís head.
- The word flame originated at your school. Flame, meaning: to make insulting criticisms or remarks, as on a computer network, to incite anger.
- The presence of Wedge rats does not surprise you.
- Someone says, "What are the odds?" and you calculate them.
- Your Math professor clarifies in his syllabus that "An orc ate my homework" is not an excuse.
- Your fraternities make Flash websites to promote their party.
- You are making fun of this url. (Sadly, this is no longer funny. I used to maintain this webpage in Microsoft Word and the old url used to be http://alum.wpi.edu/~jlally/files/Geek%20at%20WPI.htm).
- You canít login to UNIX and you become "damaged goods".
- You come out of a Star Trek movie and argue about the physics involved.
- Instead of saying "They don't go in order," you say, "They aren't linear."
- Three nights a week either the racquetball courts or the gym are reserved for people to have medieval foam sword fights.
- The ratio of Abercrombie shirts to capes with hoods walking around campus is even.
- You analyze/compare/complain about things according to their ratios.
- You can design something that will go directly to use at NASA, Gillette, or any other major engineering company and receive no individual credit.
- An entire floor of a dorm is known as "the morgue" because the people who live there never come outside. (Riley 4th)
- You memorize things like the second law of thermodynamics, quadratic formula and energy conservation laws, but forget your phone number when you try to call home.
- You know the ABCís of infrared from A to B.
- Rearranging your room requires a floor plan, made with Visio or AutoCAD, with revisions.
- You care more about dots per inch than miles per gallon.
- You have ever calculated how much college costs per second.
- Someone asks you why the sky is blue and you try to explain the atmospheric absorption theory.
- You have documented video of a printer smashing, Office Space style.
- The big controversy at your school is people who hack into UNIX and php being shut down.
- You watch the Oscars to root for the special effects guys in Lord of the Rings.
- You rearrange your dishwasher or items in your refridgerator to maximize the packing factor.
- You think the real heroes of Apollo 13 were the mission controllers. Stupid Tom Hanks.
- You use coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats or taping ducts.
- You know the direction the water swirls when you flush.
- You know what "http://" stands for.
- Youíll assume a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math easier.
- You use a fan for Darth Vader impersonations.
- You think "Spring Break" is a metal fatigue failure.
- You have no life, and can prove it mathematically.
- You know vector calculus, but canít remember long division.
- You can translate English into binary.
- You chuckle whenever someone mentions "centrifugal force."
- Itís sunny outside and you are on your computer.
- You laugh at jokes about mathematicians and math majors.
- The Social Committee at your school celebrates holidays like Pi Day, on March 14th at 1:59.
- When Pi Day falls during a school break, your Social Committee must consider other Math Holidays, like Mole Day (October 23rd) and Gravity Day (September 8th).
- When you have to read about integrated schools from the 1960ís in your history class, all you can think about is area under their curves.
- Before Spring Break, thereís a party called, "Die, C Term, Die."
- You don't think of an icy ground as slippery, rather as having a low μ.
- You write "goto" as one word.
- The latest craze: gmail.
- When playing Tetris, you canít help but think about the algorithms and random shape generators being used.
- Your webpage's visitor count is expressed in binary.
- Your Athletic Facilities have wireless network capabilities.
- Your President Announces his retirement via e-mail.
- You consider it to be a good term if 2/3 of your professors speak English.
- When your schoolís mail server goes down, people are forced to call each other to confirm that events are not cancelled.
- When you express your emotional needs in a flow chart.
- Youíve found that itís more cost effective and efficient to download movies then go to a movie theater.
- Your collection of divx/xvid/avi movies burned onto CD outnumbers your DVD collection.
- You host a Counter-Strike server.
- You take courses like PH 1110, MA 1021, CS 2005 over and over again.
- Your school still has a HUGE parking problem, despite Civil Engineering being offered as a major and IQP projects involving parking problems in Boston.
- You argue with others about how your major is better than all the other majors.
- You have thought of, or formulated ways to break into the new NetOps, which may or may not involve rough sketches to actual blueprints of the Wedge.
- "Going to DAKA" is a universal language for eating in one of WPIís dining halls.
- You have submitted an addition to this website.
- You understand the term, "DAKA Sledding."
- You carry a laminated Periodic Table and/or other chemical data with you at all times.
- You see someone wearing a shirt with <body> on the front and </body> on the back and think itís hilarious.
- You actually understand more than half of the things on this list.
- You race to get ownership of mailing lists.
- When your Frisbee team receives more newspaper space than the football team.
- You're sure that WPI closing school because of weather is a sign of the apocalypse.
- You sketch out blueprints, complete with time checkpoints, for a plan to steal the star off the art museum.
- You eat ramen noodles cold.
- Your Netops division plays Playstation 2 on the 10 ft projectors, in public view, to make students jealous.
- Your Netops division has a larger budget than the entire physics department.
- You consider 4 hours a good nightís sleep and/or partake in the NyQuil/No-Doz cycle.
- You'll park a car on the seal as a joke, but you won't walk over it.
- You get flamed for sending out an e-mail, but forgetting to attach the files you reference in your e-mail.
- When you have to write a paper, you notice that you instinctively use semicolons instead of periods.
- You have actually had a conversation in C.
- When someone says "evil" you automatically think "SCHEME".
- Mountain Dew is a dietary staple.
- When you go to other schools and see girls you respond with, "What are those?"
- You own the mailing list, firstname.lastname@example.org.
- At a party, to describe how hot it is, you use the word "Rankine".
- Three words: Dance, Dance, Revolution.
- When referring to Newton's prism and white light, to clarify his point, your physics professor shows the album cover of "Dark Side of the Moon."
- You get your news from "The Daily Show" with Jon Stewart.
- The phrase "And Life" either makes you start laughing or cover your face and groan.
- If you call out "Matt" or "John" and most people turn around, thinking youíre talking to them.
- When you move, the first thing you unpack is your computer.
- You can hear the following quotes around campus:
- "Do you have any band-aids? I cut my finger on my calculator last
night." -A guy at the gym
- "Sorry I was late, I had to color code my schedule." -Half of the WPI Campus
- "Hey! I remember you from Maple Lab. So whatís your major?" -A pick up line at a party
- "The scissor is kind of like a DNA strand, a double helix." -Vid explaining Rugby plays
- "Wow...look at that transfer rate!"
- "It's been like five minutes and I haven't gotten any email."
- Figuring out how to steal a shopping cart from Price Chopper becomes a must on your "to do" list.
- Once you figure out how, you bring the cart up the elevator to your floor as a trophy.
- Youíve submitted more than one idea to this list.
- You still think getting to third base involves running.
- You have phone numbers of late night take out places programmed into your phone.
- You converse/argue with your roommates over IM or e-mail.
- You find it absurd when people mention sailing ships and gold doubloons in relation to "piracy".
- Your friends consider you "on the rebound" after your computer crashes.
- When your Physics professor describes two different approaches to a problem as an if-then, else statement.
- Everyone in the class understands what she means.
- When on your exam, after grading all of the problems, in the box where "Total points" should be, your teacher wrote "Net".
- You explain to your friends that you take 3 courses in 7 weeks, and they think, "Oh, itís not that bad."
- In the bathroom, you can hear people talking about calculus.
- Your first real conversation with your future significant other was over the language your intro programming class was in.
- When hygiene comes second.
- Your friends tell you have far to go around a rotary in radians.
- For a test, your professor uses the standard deviation to find the upper and lower control limits and decide whether the test is "in control."
- Your professor asks if you have "downloaded" the information from the board
before he "deletes" it.
- You walk around freshman floors of the opposite sex the night before online Physics homework is due, hoping theyíll be impressed with your skill and fall madly in love with you.
- Your strategy works.
- If there are three times as many computers as people in your apartment.
- Caffeine: teacher, mother, secret lover.
- You have entire conversations or lectures using only Star Trek, Simpsons, Seinfeld, Family Guy and Futurama references.
- Your philosophy professor using words like frag and respawn to describe life, death and rebirth.
- When 3.14159 isn't just the ratio between the circumference of a circle and its diameter, but also between the number of guys to girls in your class.
- When giving directions you use terms like perpendicular bisector, collinear and hypotenuse.
- When you all watch a football game, you need to have your wireless-capable laptops to make it bearable.
- You can check the status of your laundry online.
- Someone says G-Nuke, and no one thinks of rap.
- The most common form of procrastination is checking your friendsí away messages.
- Someone says, "There was a big tiff in that email" and you donít know whether they mean an argument or the picture file format.
- When you donít know someoneís email, so you send it to an alias you know theyíre on.
- While discussing Georgia changing the term evolution to biological change over time, you laugh and start referring to it as the first derivative of evolution.
- You use wikipedia as your main source for a research paper.
- To represent whether or not your fraternity brothers will be living in the house or not, you fill out a spreadsheet labeling each brother with a 0 or a 1.
- You feel youíve either "won" or "stuck it to The Man" by having five different
people swipe you in at DAKA for dinner every night of the week.
- You have "won DAKA" (being the last to leave) or participated in "the Ultimate
DAKA Challenge" (being in DAKA from open till close).
- This oneís for us ladies: You give yourself a French manicure and use duct tape.
- When you go to the cardio machine and five people are using them, while watching Star Trek.
- When your pre-frosh shadows you for a day and takes notes in your classes.
- You give your girlfriend a graph for
- You brag that your school has had wireless since October 21, 1909, when the WPI Wireless Association formed.
- You walk into your computer science building, you don't think twice about the building hours being posted on the door in a Microsoft Windows dialog box.
- Your IQP team uses your paper to test the limits of Microsoft, increasing its 120 pages to 1638 font and 25,000 pages, crashing the computer, and decreasing the font size to fit the document in 4.5 inches.
- After hearing this, you decide to test other limits of Microsoft Office:
- Font Size: 1-1638 (Word), 1-409 (Excel)
- 32767 rows and 63 columns in Word
- 16777216 colors
- 65536 rows and 256 columns in Excel
- List items in Word: 32767
- Blank slides in PowerPoint: 4093
- Your Wrestling Team's scores are given in significant
- Your professor measures attendance in critical mass.
- Instead of curtain rod you use AV wire or an ethernet cable.
- The library entrance way and side stairs are heated to avoid snow shoveling.
- Mailinglist is one word, and the first letter may be an "m", a "+", or a "/+".
- You have your WEP number memorized.
- A single computer program has changed your life as you know it.
- You have more HDDs lying around your room than are in your computer.
- You have more monitors than you do eyes.
- When playing Taboo, to get people to guess "paperclip" you say, "Oh, it looks like you're trying to write a letter."
- You purchase your first home and the master bedroom becomes the computer room.
- You web cast your wedding, or post it on the The Social Web.
- You sit down in a stall on campus and pick up someone's lab report that was left behind and read it all the way through (double geek if the lab is a subject from a separate field than your own).
- While meeting with people outside WPI, they ask what an email alias is and you attempt not to roll your eyes while responding "a list serve".
- You have a bumper sticker that reads: There's no place like 127.0.0.1
- You own any apparel with the Linux penguin on it.
- You had the following AIM conversation:
- WilliamLHerbert: I just took the first step to updating my Web site.
- jocelyn lally: what's that!?
- WilliamLHerbert: Creating a mySQL database for the Acronym Dictionary.
- On July 1, you wish people a Happy New Year. (Fiscal Year)
- When people talk about minimizing and maximizing things, you can't help but thing of setting the first derivative equal to zero.
- The big hit of the party is when Officer Neil comes by with the Segway and lets people take it for a spin.
- You feel like you're "keeping it real" by continuing to use Pine.
- You get excited about discovering fun UNIX commands:
- cal xxxx (shows you the calendar for year xxxx)
- cal n xxxx (shows you the n month of that year)
- clock (exact time)
- lynx URL (text based browser)
- You videotape your friends making a major triad in the key of G with root beer bottles.
- You use words like "PWN3D" and "w00t" in regular conversation.
- You know your MAC address better than your social security number.
- You set up a website, LiveJournal and AIM handle
for your child.
- Instead of a flashing a gang symbol like "blood" you try to arrange your fingers to spell "C++".
- You know the number of every call box on campus.
- There's ketchup on tap in your Campus Center Food Court.
- You abide by a strict code of ethics for using "Reply" versus "Reply All."
- You shadow people playing DDR.
- You know what shadowing is.
- Your roommate moved out of your dorm room, so you converted his bed into a lab desk.
- You have played music from a PDA connected to a homemade amplifier and speakers from the EE Shop.
- While watching "Anchorman" you noticed the 2x2 Rubix Cube on the desk of one of the characters.
- The lyric "Off the Richter" in "Hey Mama" by the Black Eyed Peas ticks you off, because you know the Richter Scale is just a logarithmic measure.
- You laugh at the following conversation between summer camp students at WPI: "Oh, your password is 'star-star-star-star?' Me too!"
- You email yourself reminders.
- You know someone (or are someone) who can solve a Rubix Cube in 2 minutes or less.
- Double geek if you can with your eyes closed.
- The Boston Museum of Science makes you angry because they have nothing about the Segway and their display on Robert Goddard is puny and doesn't even mention WPI.
- By Senior year or after becoming an alumni, you can pinpoint some people's major without even talking to them.
- Your apartment has an entire drawer devoted to holding Nalgene Water Bottles.
- You fail a test and stomp on the seal to show your frustration.
- No matter how much you try and deny it, you know know NetOps is the equivalent of God.
- You have an extensive argument to determine whether it's pronounced "PEE-co" or "PIE-co", involving emails and phone calls to the University of Washington, the makers of pine.
- You know what pine or pico are.
- Triple geek if you know what pine and pico stand for.
- You wish your friend a Happy Birthday with an ASCII art email.
- You have ever wished your car had a gauge for acceleration, with measurements in positive and negative units.
- You and your fiancee have a registered domain comprising of your initials, providing information about your engagement and wedding.
- You reference "The Rules of Acquisition".
- You own a shirt that says the following: "Resistance is futile (if < 1 Ohm)"
- If you have SETI@home as your screen saver.
- There are two members of the opposite gender on your bed, and you're on your computer.
- Campus police emails you to notify you that the lights of your car are on.
- You discuss forming a country called the People's Republic of WPI just to get into the Olympics.
- While in your car on a Friday night on the way to the clubs you discuss the molecular structure of octane.
- Casual conversation over drinks includes wireless networks and the capabilities of your cellular device.
- You text message or email from your phone entries for this list.
- You miss a phonecall because you were too busy listening to your phone's mp3 ringtones.
- While walking up the hill in the morning, you can't help but think of the x and y components of the work you are creating.
- Your recent alums talk about their time at WPI, and say "When I was a freshmen, my computer was a P-133."
- When, as a practical joke, a friend hides a win2k box in your room, hooks it up to your monitor, keyboard, and mouse, all to convince you that he installed "a real OS" on your FreeBSD machine.
- You describe the writing nubbin on your finger as concave down as a result of a long test.
- You have fun calling random call boxes on campus (ie. playing classical music)
- You submit grammatical and spelling errors to this site. Just to make sure you have spelled the words correctly, you check Merriam-Webster's online dictionary.
- A birthday e-mail is an acceptable replacement for a birthday card.
- Most of the people at your birthday party have a livejournal account, and when you write in your livejournal about your birthday, you use all their usernames instead of their real names.
- When someone on your floor has derived the equation for one of the bubblers and posted it above the water fountain itself, complete with picture and notes showing all work.
- You graph the above equation [f(x) := ((-19/135)*x^2)+((38/15))*x;] in Maple, realize it's wrong and fix it.
- You think jokes about jerk being the third derivative of the position function are funny.
For example: "Man, what a third derivative of position!"
- When you can play with the CDC balloons in the fountain for 20 minutes and not get bored.....participating or watching.
- You realize the multi-functionality of CD-Rom Drives in the ADP Lab.
- You tell a member of the opposite sex you're thinking of them as a Scheme function.
- You convince your friends how well you know them by reciting their UNIX logins.
- You know your friends better by their UNIX login, so when you forget how to spell their name you open an email in pine, type in their login and see how their name is spelled.
- A goal for your sorority is to keep their GPA above pi.
- In a computer lab, you have a lengthy conversation with the person sitting next to you...on two screennames.
- You place doctor's appointments in your calendars during break, and you start them on the hour and end after 50 minutes.
- When you schedule your time during term break.
- Your Engineering Professor explains how to simplify your steps in the following manner, "Pretend like you're talking to the President, Vice-President, or CEO. The President's an idiot, so is the VP and the CEO. Explain it like you would to them."
- Mozilla and Mozilla based browsers make up the majority of your university's internal traffic.
- You actually have taken the time to compile this list.
- You own a shirt that says: "Don't Drink and Derive, Alcohol and Calculus Don't Mix."
- The weekly gossip includes why DC++ got shut down.
- You go to court to contest a speeding ticket and use as a defense that the force exhausted on you to slow you down would have to be an unbearable 4 G's.
- You only know one meaning of PDA: Personal Digital Assistant.
- You use your whiteboard as a poll to determine your major.
- A good date is watching the SMAS practice.
- You know of at least four (4) different ways to hack into someone's printer.
- Your RA yells at you for playing hall sports when all you are doing is playing chess.
- One of your professors uses scientific notation for years. (1 billion = 10^9)
- On the way up the hill you overhear a cell phone conversation that ends with "May the force be with you."
- The A/V Club (LnL) is the largest in the country and possibly in the world.
- When your friend says "I love Longhorn" you respond with "Oh, when will it be available?" and you're shot down with, "What do you mean? It's a restaurant."
- Someone says, "Hey, check out that Eclipse" and everyone looks up.
- You use an ethernet cable to measure your waist size.
- Someone asks you, "What's new?" and you respond "c/lambda".
- You get made fun of by CoffeeHouse artists for using your laptop during the show.
- You enjoy the following pickup line: "Hey baby, can I be your derivative so that I could make tangent lines to all your curves?"
- You know the font, size and color of all of the people on your buddy list.
- You include "B there || B^2" in your emails.
- You overhear someone explaining the ratio at WPI in terms of pi.
- You have a mailing list for any or all of the following reasons:
- Your apartment, building or street
- You and your significant other
- Your IQP or MQP group
- Free food sightings
- Gossip announcement
- A group of people (stalkers) who announce sightings of a particular person
- You answer math problems in your sleep.
- To celebrate the end of the term, you plan on a shopping spree in the Bookstore, but end up just buying books for the next term.
- You try and swipe into your car with your ID.
- Bathroom graffiti consists of the following, "For a good time, connect to 127.0.0.1."
- Your halloween costume is a software pirate or DNA.
- For Halloween, you set up a Christmas tree, decorated with CD's, a jack-o-lantern and a WPI blanket.
- You hit on freshmen to let you into DAKA.
- You know what DAKA stands for.
- On the busride back from a trip, one of the group members states that, "It's okay if we leave without everyone, we're still within the standard deviation of our original number," and means it.
- Your roomate is smart enough to take Chem Eng classes but doesn't have the common sense to realize that you don't wash your mattress by putting it in the shower to soak it for 2-3 minutes.
- You refer to a SanDisk USB flash drive (complete with lanyard) around someone's neck as "Bling, bling."
- You recognize the fonts of your favorite stores.
- Double geek if you can name the font.
- You tell your significant other that "9.81 m/(s^2) doesn't begin to describe how fast I fell for you."
- You have the following conversation while giving a tour:
- Tour Guide: If you ask me a question and stump me, I'll take you to lunch.
- Guy on Tour: What's another word for thesaurus?
- Tour Guide: Oh that's easy, Shift + F7
- The following interchange occurs while playing catchphrase:
- Person 1: This dinosaur is named after the first derivative of position.
- Person 2: Acceleraptor! Accelerasaurus!
- Person 1: No, integrate that!
- Person 2: Velociraptor!
- After saying something wrong to your girlfriend, you yell "Control Z, Control Z!"
- On the sidelines of a field hockey game, your teammates are questioning the feasibility of "stick osmosis" when there is a penalty.
- You think this is funny. (*Note: content may be inappropriate for viewers under 18)
- Tours of Residence Halls are given via office chair (Riley 3rd).
- Your RA's don't consider you owning a vending machine, selling food to people at a profit a business.
- You have received warnings from your RA for playing DDR at 1 am.
- You learn through various experiments that the desks and the carpets in your dorm don't burn.
- You consider "I !<3 you" a sign of affection.
- You have talked to your roomate via a microphone and AIM's talk function.
- DDR is a valuable learning tool:
- You learned about vibrations the hard way and are forces to duct tape down items in your room.
- You learn material addition methods by duct taping two pads together to play in double mode.
- You realize that WPI furniture was not meant to hold you while playing.
- You consider two chairs duct taped together to be a decent couch.
- Kool-Aid is an appropriate substitute for hair dye.
- You discover that hot water in your apartment is free and electric heat is not, then successfully construct a heating system involving a car radiator and fans.
- You have seen at least 5 people crowd around a computer to watch a movie.
- A calculus professor has compared solving a problem in a certain amount of time to having your tongue cut out in a hostage-like war situation.
- Your professor emulates Windows on a Linux machine and people in the class applaud.
- Your professor asks the class if anyone saw the football game yesterday, it is followed by a minute of awkward silence.
- To make yourself feel better, you make fun of other school's wireless:
- "Holy Cross, I bet their wireless network sucks."
- "I bet they broadcast their ID."
- "Yeah it's probably called linksys."
- "Dude, they have hubs in their dorms, not switches."
- Your Social Commitee's mascot is Albert Einstein.
- You spend your morning at work adding link tags (by hand) to entries on a webpage (this one) that is not even yours instead of working on MQP.
- You have Avogadro's Number in your AIM profile.
- You go to DAKA just to get ice cream bars to fill your fridge.
- Despite what people say, you know waffles are a suitable meal.
- You take fruit from DAKA to feed the squirrels.
- You always question what use the ions in those Sharper Image ionizing fans are good for.
- In your free time, you continue your never-ending quest to create anti-matter or a perpetual motion machine in your room.
- You make regular trips to Fuller Sub-Basement to find parts to fix your computer.
- The power is out at school, but the network is still up.
- Your floor has a community builder with foam letters and you put Pi to 100 decimals on your door.
- During the five days of Thanksgiving Break, more students sign up for TheFacebook.com then voted in your Student Government executive elections the week prior.
- A friend calls you and wakes you up with a homework question and you can't get back to sleep until you figure it out.
- You email NetOps with a question at midnight and receive a reply 17 minutes later.
- You come across this website and get really excited, because it includes proofs.
- You can relate to the guy using his Blackberry while on the toilet at work.
- You feel that ME is inherently sexy because of words like stroke, thrust, position, shaft, jerk and rigid body that are part of their everyday terminology.
- In terms of the Holy Grail of conversation, you're able to quote bumpers from Adult Swim.
- Campus police sends you an email saying that your car has been ticketed because it is illegally parked and that it will be towed in 10 minutes. Double geek if you receive and reply to the email before the 10 minutes is up.
- You use an old case as a Mountain Dew dispenser.
- You describe your drunken behavior as a parabolic function, or your beirut skills as a sine wave.
- You have dreams (or nightmares) about Excel.
- The University President announces over e-mail that the school's website will soon be updated.
- A band playing at your school tells the audience to pull out their lighters for a slow song and everyone busts out cell phones.
- You flash the right hand rule like it's a gang sign.
- Someone asks you what you get when you cross a horse with a duck and you respond "(horse)(duck)sin(theta)".
- You updated the entry for Robert Goddard on wikipedia.org because it didn't mention WPI.
- Your friend is pissed because someone left the Nuclear Reactor on all weekend.
- You later take pictures of rubber duckies in the aero tow-tank as a way of paying homage to the irradiated one in the reactor.
- You try to figure out a way to get kicked out of school so you can have a building named after you.
- Two activities (both involving walking) are now specifically listed as hall sports because of you.
- Your friend says something stupid and you explain how "He's a [insert major here] Major" by way of apology.
- If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
- Your friends wish you a Happy Birthday on the wrong day, because that's what it's listed on Facebook as.
- You think spring cleaning includes dusting out the inside of your CPU and cleaning each keyboard key individually.
- You bring your laptop into DAKA to update your website, and look up things that come up in conversation.
- Lunch discussion includes your preference of text editor, linear algebra, statistics, or string theory.
- You check this site multiple times a day, waiting for updates.
- You can pronounce "linalg" or "diffeq".
- Dinner conversation includes the types of email at your school, their history and compare and contrast their strengths and weaknesses.
- You do this before going out on a Tuesday night.
- Your TA is 5 minutes late for conference, so some students leave. One comes back with the other TA.
- You are amused driving by a house whose address is 1337.
- Your favorite chipmunk was Simon.
- You're down because you think your chances of ever meeting someone are infinitsimal, and your friend modifies Drake's equation to demonstrate it is not possible.
- You go to use the elevator in Riley Hall, and there
are people having a tea party inside.
- You notice that Spongebob sits atop a server inside Atwater Kent.
- A Saturday night with the boys means soldering circuit boards with the door closed.
- You play poker and calculate odds for a statistics project.
- You have a shirt that says, "logon, crash reboot"!
- You can derive trig functions without breaking a sweat, but you're stumped when it comes to figuring out the bill at a restaurant.
- Your vanity license plate reads "mitosis."
- When you want your friend to spell check a word you give the command: Start Run Winword.
- You have your computer set to refresh your email every minute.
- You think it's quaint when someone asks you for mailing list help.
- You have a drop panel in your apartment.
- You correct your peers for misquoting Family Guy.
- People walk around campus using their laptop as a boombox/radio.
- You turn nouns into verbs. Hypontenuse, Google and Facebook.
- The WPI Acronym Dictionary is down because PHP was disabled, so you open it up and read it in a UNIX terminal (PHP code included).
- You wake up early on a Wednesday just to get waitlisted for classes.
- You get a pop-up blocker on your whiteboard.
- Two words: Strip programming.
- You've searched for "google" on Google.
- You know people whose names include numbers or symbols.
- The theme song to Nova inspires you.
- In your Major Project Presentation, you use emoticons to distinguish good and bad results.
- You do not shave, a la Johnny Damon, for an upcoming Counter Strike tournament.
- You label your personal possessions with your UNIX username.
- Even though you're struck by an unknown illness which affects 60+ students, your lab partner tracks you down in your hospital room and asks if you will be submitting your portion of the group
- You are concerned about the future of this site, and email me to offer a helping hand.
- In order to speed up large FTP transfers, you consider running wires across the front of the building, two stories down, and then back into your friend's room so you won't be stuck with only 10mbps.
- The rumor of standard 100mbps connections for the following school year excites you.
- While on Wikipedia researching an art project, you somehow find yourself learning about Magnetic Confinement Energy (MFE).
- To bring your computer to school you disassemble it, bubble wrap each part, pack it in a hard carry-on case, fly 800 miles, take it all apart, get the computer case you had delivered to school, and then while assembling it all, curse the day you were born because you didn't bring any thermal grease.
- You and your friends have ever tried to make the bubbler shoot farther or have colder water.
- You break the bubbler attempting the above.
- You get excited when Tuesday night comes around.
- 1TB of hard drive space isn't enough anymore.
- You know what an exabyte is even though Microsoft Word doesn't even recognize it as a word...and you want that amount of hard drive storage capacity.
- You think that Karnaugh maps should have a standardized notational form so that you don't have to try so hard to compare your friend's work to determine whether or not you got the same thing.
- Your friend leaves you a message in a Run Command window and an open Firefox window to tell you about the latest P2P software.
- You get bit torrent working successfully while on campus.
- There was a rave party in your Campus Center.
- You shun people who use Internet Explorer.
- Talking about microprocessor design gets you excited.
- Computers with only one monitor just don't cut it anymore.
- You run a Counter-Strike: Source server.
- You send out an invitation, from your camera phone via email, like this.
- You have thought about how to make a light saber. Double geek if you actually did.
- The Commencement speaker ends his speech with "May the Force be with you." The girl behind you says "I can't believe he quoted Star Trek." You turn around and say, "That was Star Wars." They roll their eyes and say, "Whatever," but everyone around you thinks it's hilarious.
- Similarly: You feel the only thing you can be "mindful" of is the Force.
- Moreover: You feel it was divine providence that Episode III was released the week of your commencement.
- Which leads to: Starting at 10 a.m. the day it was released, every conversation is prefaced with "Have you seen Episode III?"
- And finally: If the answer to the previous question is no, conversation stops immediately.
- Your Pep Band uses mathematical expressions for the names of the songs they play.
- The "pi" in #301 has been used to "pie" your SHD in the face.
- You describe a bumpy road as "like a sine wave."
- You scoff at Flavia, which has a "Strength/Force"
scale for their coffee, because clearly coffee does not have
- You've ever emailed email@example.com about SP errors on the list.
- You have ever turned a Christmas tree into a web server.
- You've owned so many computers, campus police was called in to investigate your "fencing racket".
- Campus police has pulled you over while walking with a computer.
- Double points if you begged them to give you a ticket for "your computer going too fast".
- You need a video card, so you just ask your neighbor for a spare.
- You've ever webcast your New Year's Eve party, so people can "party remotely."
- You've used IM to talk to your roommate, when you were the only two in the room.
- You refer to "The Broken Pipe" in directions around campus.
- Only four years in college seems like getting out early.
- "AOL System Msg" is on your buddy list.
- For lack of anything transparent, you wrap gifts with electrical tape or thermal tape that can resist 500 degrees Fahrenheit, or use cassette tapes as ribbon.
- When you forgot to renew your domain name and your Web site is no longer viewable, you receive emails from friends checking to see if you're OK.
- You receive an offer to "increase the volume of your ejaculation 500 times" and determine how much ejaculate that would be equal to. (Roughly 1 gallon).
- Your mother buys you sheets to match your computer's LEDs.
- Your significant other gives you the book, Zero, for your birthday (about the history of zero), and you think it's so romantic.
- Thanks to the book, you and your roommate engage in stimulating conversation for days.
- You make your own Firefox extensions, purely for the functionality of others.
- You email yourself important things (phone numbers, directions) to your GMail account with certain keywords for easy searching, and consider it a "safe place".
- You abstain (from many things) prior to a Gaming Tournament.
- Your 22-month-old daughter/sister/family member
is found typing at your laptop (which is off), and when asked what
she is doing, responds with glee, "Checking my eeeeemail."
- You've ever searched Amazon.com for a science fiction book written by your Physics Professor (Prof. Phillies, This Shining Sea), only to be disappointed.
- You understand that being on the VIP plan means that you will never be without pizza and soda all year long.
- You have stolen over 200 packets of saltines from DAKA (and saved them).
- You didn't know the location of the campus gym until D term of your first year.
- Your neighbor is the coolest guy in your dorm because of his new z-5500's and digital projector.
- You don't find it odd when a campus police officer on a Segway cruises into DAKA, makes himself an ice cream cone, and zooms out while eating it.
- You know someone who failed all of his A and B term classes due to World of Warcraft.
- This person tries to blame his blizzard (multiple
snowflakes) on Blizzard.
- You do a little research to prove that the last entry is wrong, since World of Warcraft came out after A Term was over.
- In reference to #299, you curse when the door is locked.
- When mapping out the area your school's Goat Trophy can travel, you spend a day learning the Google Maps API to create an interactive map so there is no confusion.
- Double points if you know what the Google Maps API is.
- Triple points if you did this AFTER you graduated.
- You own a shirt that says, "Without Geometry, life is pointless."
- When you use the words "frack" and "frell" instead of f*%k.
- You ask your roommate if he wants your Reuben sandwich and he goes to Google what's on it.
- The Alden bells play the theme from Zelda.
- Your mascot checks its email.
- When showing off a new super sweet piece of electronic equipment, the owner says, "Don't get too close, you might drool all over it."
- You get into heated arguments with your friends about either your or your friend's resistance to certain technology (i.e. cell phones, Exchange, Facebook).
- While dancing with a girl, you manage to remove her halter top during a dip, and fail to notice.
- You effectively shut down the internet for your entire floor by sending 20,000 TiVo packets per second (367 mbps) to one user.
- You laugh when your professor makes the joke, "Friction is rough."
- When trying to type in your social security number into the web information system you accidently type your IP address.
- After making a grammatical error, your CS professor rewrites an email in Scheme.
- You think this is funny (Matzos noob).
- Res Services sends out an email to your floor regarding the building of forts in your lounge.
- The Tivo packet bomb took out all of Morgan's network.
- You think your roommate is using your toothpaste, so you start weighing it before and after each of your uses and keep a record of how much was used when you were gone.
- Once your toothpaste gets low you start weighing your other roommate's toothpaste to see if the first roommate has switched toothpase suppliers.
- When you are bumped from 64 to 63 on this site, you get upset because you are no longer a nice round number of 2^6. Then when you go back to #64 you are happy again.
- You consider numbers like 2^n where n=1,2,3... "nice and round".
- You are affected by your rank on this list.
- You receive a job offer and celebrate by buyng a LEGO set.
- You don't realize your roommate is in your forced double (read: single room with two people) for over 20 minutes until you check your buddy list and see that she's online.
- You read your shampoo bottle only to find that you understand the molecular composition of all of the ingredients.
- You play with your Organic Chemistry set when drunk.
- While walking down the street, you hear and ambulance, and immediately begin thinking about the Doppler effect, instead of getting out of the way.
- The following conversation occurs between people in the same house:
brother1: we had to have minutes from a brainstorming meeting for engineering, so we did it in an AIM chat
brother1: then we just changed the names in Word
- Your beloved giant tree on campus is decorated with CDRs for the holiday season.
- You are very upset that your daughter, a current student at WPI, doesn't know what a Cray Computer is.
- However, her younger sister does, and explains that Cray is the leading supercomputer company in the world. Cray Computers, some of the fastest computers in the world, are obviously supercomputers.
- Googlewhacking takes up much of your time, or you have ever found a googlewhack.
- An April Fool's joke on your floor involves office supplies.
- You write Fermat's Last Theorem on your door, in silly putty.
- You realize the last picture is wrong, so you redo it. In silly putty.
- You have a favorite theorem, rule, proof, equation, series or approximation (<3).
- You created a wiki for yourself.
- This was painted on the Riley-Daniels exit.
- Someone at the bookstore in line to pay pulls out a molecular model from their purse to get to their wallet.
- Your school has its own wiki.
- Your school's list of reasons why someone could be considered a geek at WPI has its own page on the school's wiki.
- You can't stand the sight of bitmaps on websites, and e-mail the administrators about this serious issue.
- You also recommend good programs to batch convert files to more efficient formats.
- You can't sit at your desk with out the machine running and the monitor on.
- While buying food in the Campus Center you leave your
personal effects in a stack on an empty table. When you return with your food you find your umbrella set aside and your homework gone.
- The members of your floor (Riley 3rd) construct a hot tub in the bathroom.
- Your hard drives and Q-Tips are kept in the same drawer.
- You accidentally type UNIX commands in AIM windows.
- When you are working at someone else's computer you exclaim in disgust "I don't know how anyone can accomplish anything while hiding file extensions."
- You've used pool balls to demonstrate the transfer of energy during a social event.
- You think The Eagles' song "Take it to the Limit" is about L'Hopital's rule.
- T-shirts are being sold that that read "WPI: where are sports is almost as good as are grammer."
- You write another Firefox search widget, that adds the functionality of the WPI main page search box to Firefox.
- Plant Services has an open house to show off their boilers, and you go.
- You look for a date on a file sharing program.
- You look for a date on Geek 2 Geek.
- You have a tattoo of a mathematical symbol or equation.
- Your professor describes transient analysis in terms of people reaching for objects. Most people (critical damping) will reach directly for the object. Old people (over-damping), take a long time to get there, but eventually close in on it. Drunk people (under-damping) waver on their way to the object, not really sure if they should go farther or what.
- When talking about the moon, your professor describes the surface as "peppered by meteoroid strikes, much as though it had been shot in the face with a shotgun by Dick Cheney."
- You receive a cordless, self-lighting soldering iron for Valentine's Day, and you're ecstatic.
- The following problem appears in your math book:
8.1 (a) If it takes six hours to defrost a frozen chicken, how long would it take to defrost a woolly mammoth?
- At the Valentine's Argentine Tango dance, cheers erupt when the instructors describe one move as "a simple harmonic oscillator."
- Your parents punish you by turning off the internet.
- In order to go to Moe's and be late for work, you provide your boss with the excuse that you got a flat tire.
- When you can't read someone's shirt due to a lack of contrast, you tell them to shift the gamma.
- If you can count on your fingers in binary, but are unsure whether you should only use 2 fingers, or use all your fingers as place values (finger up = 1, finger down = 0).
- You think that no internet is better than slow internet.
- You didn't see anything wrong with the picture in #459 until you get to #473 and realize there must be more to it than STOP being written on the ground.
- You are taken out for drinks by your guild members for making Level 60 on WoW.
- You have an old school Nintendo Tetris tournament on a friday night.
- You sign into GMail and "Copy Shortcut" to email your "add"
- You use lol at work.
- You actually read every thing on this list in one sitting.
- Usually, no one in your family has a clue about what you are saying.
- You are told you speak "computer" when in reality it is binary.
- You think 3Mb/s is too slow.
- You forget your eraser and hope "CTRL + Z" will help you with your problem.
- You write your "hand-written" rought draft in the "comic-sans" font on the computer.
- You think watching TV through your friend's webcam is awesome!! (especially if it is cable!).
- You learned the Luhn algorithm and ask to see other peoples credit cards.
- Webopedia and Wikipedia are both alphabetized in your favorites.
- You see an ad for the Adam Sandler movie, "Click" and all you can think about is kinky sex.
- As a female you've had a male friend stare intensely at your chest for 30 seconds in DAKA, and then announce "I know that font." in reference to your t-shirt.
- You met your life partner over the Internet in 1987.
- You know precisely which font to use when attempting to stretch your paper out to a specified length.
- You buy soda bottles for the express purpose of filling them at DAKA.
- You get excited because you find out the number 974-4335 is available, and immediately have your number changed.
- Someone in your household is inspired by an episode of Mythbusters where the challenge is the fastest way to chill a six-pack.
- You have read, thought about, and/or chuckled about every single one of these and wish for more.
- You brag about your MySpace account with your online friends.
- You knows someone who only responds to IMs if you write them in leet speak.
- You have done the above to talk to said person.
- You shop for gifts for your family, friends and significant other at sites like Zellestyle and ThinkGeek.
- Your floor has a folder decorating contest and your suite makes a mobius folder.
- You call someone a n00b, they reply, "What's a noob?" and you response, "Exactly."
- When you try explaining what a n00b is, you say, "It's spelled n-zero-zero-b."
- One of your friends does a Google Image search for "geek" and your website comes up.
- After being insulted, you use the come back "Well, I'm an elastic collision and your an inelastic collision. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you!" And then have a lengthy discussion about the mass of an insult and how a collision would work.
- You use the word "erroneous" extensively at parties.
- You realize #11 no longer applies, and are mad about it.
- You are annoyed by the fact that it is sunny outside because it is making the computer screen so hard to read.
- After stealing a cart from Price Chopper, you disassemble the locking wheel, and discover that it can be kept from disabling itself with 6" of duct tape.
- You have an LCD projector in your common room that was built with hardware exclusively from the Fuller Sub-Basement, a Price Chopper cart, a DAKA tray, and duct tape.
- You submit spelling changes for the geek list in diff format.
- While creating the diff, you realize your editor (pico) replaced all the Windows style linebreaks with UNIX style linebreaks, and are annoyed by this fact.
- Your apartment has its own IRC channel.
- While watching the music video for Weird Alís "White and Nerdy" you try to identify the equation displayed in the background.
- After transferring from WPI to another school, you realize you just might know more about computers than your entire Academic Computing Department.
- You really do have a tin foil hat.
- You have ever put a sandwich in an anti-static bag.
- A Student Comedy Productions show is advertised in a
Scheme statement outside the Campus Center.
- The statement referred to previously is syntactically
horrible and you ask your friend if they have any chalk so you can fix
- You wear a Boba Fett or Darth Vader outfit for a
- Your write yourself binary code messages when you
- Your remember when 1 MB was $1, loved it when 1 GB was
$1 CANNOT wait until 1 TB is $1.
- You've tried sending a GMail invite to yourself.
- You make T-Shirts saying "NOOB" for a 21st
birthday, only to realize that girls don't really dig it.
- You sign emails with, "Keep it UNIX" or "Keep it
- You bring a soldering iron with you on a skiing
holiday to France--just in case.
- After someone steals your Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream you get your Network
Administrator to redirect all of the theif's html requests to
- Your handle involves binary or ascii.
- You type slash instead of / on handles to be cool or
to fit in.
- In reference to the hot tub in #467, calculations
were carried out to find the weight of the water and to estimate the
building's safe capactiy (in addition to estimating the amount of time a
beer will stay cold in the hot water).
- Said hot tub
construction has become a yearly tradition.
- Your kitchen cabinet falls off the wall and your first thought isn't the
ten pounds of broken glass and tomato sauce, but "is the DSL modem that
was sitting on top of it OK?"
- You arrive an hour early to your 8 a.m. class to play
Super Metroid on your laptop.
- You understand and love the site
DC++ fun (on 30 Nov 2006):
[13:26] (Satan'slittlhelper) [ ]
[13:27] (Satan'slittlhelper) oops sorry (dropped an orange on the
[14:06] (Octahedron) wow
[14:06] (Octahedron) your orange can initiate arrays
- Rather than using the word "ton" for a quantity
hyperbole, you use the word "mole".
Ex: Oh my goodness, we have a mole of cookies
- You and
your friends show episodes of
Battlestar Galactica on the projector in an empty classroom. This
becomes a weekly event and in this manner you also recruit new BSG
- You make fun of your Dad because he writes memos to
coworkers in Excel. And he cracks you up when he tries to defend
himself, "I print it out and give them a hardcopy anyways, they never
know the difference."
- You receive email reminders from your friends about
the beginning of Daylight Savings Time, complete with links to the
necessary Microsoft update patches for your computer.
- You plan to name your son "Max" and your daughter
- You use the word "integer" in daily conversation.
- You appreciate that the animated TV series "Jimmy
Neutron" has paid proper respect to the WPI Alumnus by naming Jimmy's
robotic dog "Goddard."
- When your Social Committee brings Kari and Grant from
Mythbusters as an event.
- At the Mythbusters event, Grant says he's an EE and
the crowd goes wild.
- Your friend is home for the weekend, so he uses his
home desktop to remotely tell his school desktop to login to DC++ and uses
the chat function to let you know when he'll be back on campus.
- You use your laptop to remotely login to your desktop
and download something from DC++, then use the WiFi to transfer the file
to your laptop instead of walking across the hall to your own room.
- The blinds in some classrooms cannot be adjusted by
hand, but can be raised and lowered by a button next to the controls for
- You call your friend and he tells you to email him
instead, because he doesn't know how to check his voicemail.
- You go to the library bathroom and find a guy standing
there working with his calculator.
- You are searching for a particular term in a book or
notes without indices, and you become supremely frustrated that life has
- This list inspired you to go to WPI.
Thanks to all the people who e-mailed me with suggestions (too many to name), especially William, Alex and also thanks to www.inflection-point.com.