Bill's Diamond Theory: A Secret Publicly Revealed!

This has nothing to do with Dio's greatest hits album, "Diamonds".

Rather, it has to do with two other musicians.

On the left is Neil Diamond, that wholesome, all-time favorite of American Baby Boomers, and a popular act at large casinos everywhere.

On the right is King Diamond, the evil speed metal singer of Mercyful Fate and his own solo band, and the creator of intricate horror story themed albums.

What they don't want you to know is that NEIL AND KING ARE THE SAME PERSON!

Neil Diamond realized that there was a dark side to himself. An evil side. And he really had the dying urge to release it. For too long had he done wussy songs!

However, Neil knew that he'd get into such controversy and lose his fan base if he was to perform music of a tabboo nature. So he decided to go under the pseudonym "King Diamond" and write and release songs from his darkest artistic abilities. Not to mention that Neil really wanted to belt out some high screaching vocals.

This is why King Diamond is always careful to be wearing sunglasses or his make-up at all times! He does not want to reveal his true identity! And did you ever noticed that you never see both of them anywhere at the same time?

So while Neil still enjoys playing his classic songs like "Sweet Caroline", once in a while he likes to escape by putting on the make-up and singing songs about "Abagail".

So the next time you see a singer with side-burns by the name of "Diamond", take a closer listen. You'll hear a single man who secretly caters to a wide audience, getting the best of both worlds without losing his fans!

(By the way, there is a web page of Neil Diamond parodies! Click here to see it.)

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