1. What is your religious affiliation?

1. Atheist
   
2. Satanist
   
3. Ph-nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.
   
4. I am the subject of my own religion, practiced primarily by Suku-Anatae Cannibals of Southern Tupeleki.

2. Would you ever use a weapon that is owned by another person?

1. No. I have names for all of my weapons, and I'd never risk making them jealous by using someone else's.
   
2. Only if mine ran out of ammo.
   
3. Only if it was bigger than anything I was already carrying, which is unlikely.
   
4. It is my belief that all weapons are MY PROPERTY, and it is my personal crusade to liberate my stolen property from the cold, dying fingers of those who are wrongfully using it.

3. If you were stranded somewhere, and you ran out of food, would you eat someone else to save your own life?

1. Only if I had some ketchup.
   
2. Only if I could cook them first.
   
3. It would depend on whether the proper color wine was available.
   
4. I wouldn't wait until the other food ran out. You've got to eat people when they're fresh.

4. What would you do if you discovered that your target had a wife/husband and children?

1. Kill the target anyway.
   
2. Kill the target, plus the wife/husband and children.
   
3. Kill only the children.
   
4. Kidnap the children, brainwash them, make them members of Mercwatch, and then send them to kill their own parents.

5. Do you believe in the "Right to Die?"

1. Yes, I wouldn't want anyone to be forced to live in the condition in which I leave them when I'm done with them.
   
2. I believe that all requests for deaths of any kind should be cleared with me first.
   
3. Once my ultimate plans are set in motion, this will become a moot question.
   
4. I'm sorry, I couldn't hear your question over the screams of this person begging me to stop tormenting them and let them die.

5. Do you ever wear trophies made from your victims?

1. Nah, they start to smell bad after a while.
   
2. If it's not armor, I don't wear it.
   
3. I used to, but after a while I was unable to move under the shear weight of it all. Now I own a small South American country that I use to store that stuff.
   
4. I'm sorry, but some blood dripping from the severed arms I'm wearing around my neck appears to have obscured this quesion.

6. During your interview, if the interviewer offered you a dollar if you would stand on one foot, cluck like a chicken, and hang a sign around your neck that read "Brain Donor," what would you do?

1. I ask whether this is a test to determine if I have a certain minimum amount of dignity, or whether I'm willing to do anything Merc-Watch tells me to do. If necessary, I will torture the interviewer to determine which of these scenarios is accurate. Then, once I find out which it is, I'll act in whichever manner gets me the job at Merc-Watch.
   
2. Refuse, and offer the interviewer two dollars to stand on one foot, cluck like a chicken, and hang the sign around his own neck.
   
3. Do it and take the money, but harbor an inner rage against the interviewer, which would eventually blossom into an uncontrollable murderous frenzy, at which point I would dismember them with the dollar.
   
4. Negotiate for more money.

7. Which of the following most closely matches the reasoning you use to differentiate between right and wrong?

1. If I'm being paid to do it, it's the right thing to do.
   
2. If it's in my own best interests, it's the right thing to do.
   
3. Trick question! Right and Wrong are intangible concepts which cannot be defined by mere rules. "Right" and "Wrong" are just convenient labels that people use to condemn or praise the actions of others to further their own agendas, when their real concern should be whether or not I'm sneaking up behind them with twelve inches of razor sharp steel.
   
4. They all must die.

8. Do you ever use chemical weapons?

1. Do C4 and TNT count as chemicals?
   
2. Only when I'm out of conventional ammo, and the target is out of reach of my kung-fu death grip.
   
3. Only if I'm not planning to eat the target when I'm done.
   
4. Chemical weapons are for pansies - I stick to nukes.

9. You find a wallet in the street with $300 and the owner's driver's license in it. What do you do?

1. Take the $300, but return the wallet to the owner.
   
2. Use the $300 to buy ammo for poor, disadvantaged inner city youths.
   
3. Remove my fingerprints from the wallet, and then leave it at the scene of my next job to falsely implicate the owner and muddle the investigation conducted by the police, FBI, Interpol, and UN War Crimes Tribunal.
   
4. Suspect that it's a trap left for me by a mortal enemy, immediately spray my surroundings with machinegun fire, and then track the owner to his home and kill him.

10. Against all probability, you are captured alive by the authorities, and they offer leniency to you if you will rat out MercWatch Inc. What do you do?

1. Serve my own best interests in the short term, and rat out MercWatch. I also ask for large sums of money, which I use in a futile attempt to evade retribution by MercWatch.
   
2. Serve my own best interests in the long term, remain loyal to the organization, and kill myself at the next available opportunity.
   
3. I already control the authorities.
   
4. Trigger my doomsday weapon and laugh diabolicaly as the Earth splits in two.

---