(1) You have a 10-shot clip with 5 bullets in it.

1. The clip is half full.
   
2. The clip is half empty.
   
3. Who cares? I brought 17 more clips of ammo.
   
4. I kill the puppy and jump over the barbed wire fence.

(2) How do you feel about your mother?

1. I love Mom, she gave me an AK-47 when I was 8.
   
2. I killed Mom to take control of the organization.
   
3. What mother? I'm not even human.
   
4. I wait until the anteaters go by, then I cut them down from behind

(3) How do you feel about God?

1. Who?
   
2. He can run, but he cannot hide.
   
3. I am God.
   
4. I blow open the door with some plastic explosive.

(4) How do you feel when a target gets away?

1. Never happens.
   
2. Fine, I just wait for him to bleed to death.
   
3. Angry, and I kill the guy who gave me the defective weaponry.
   
4. I go after the nun with the grenade-launcher first.

(5) How do you feel about pain?

1. I think it looks good on you.
   
2. As long as I feel pain I know I'm not dead yet.
   
3. It is better to give than to receive.
   
4. I poison the wine and escape through the kitchen.

(6) How do you react when a policeman comes to the door and questions you
about a murder?

1. "Please, we prefer to call it Specified Population Reduction."
   
2. Tell him his address, and then ask him about his wife and children.
   
3. Blow him away and go into hiding in Brazil.
   
4. "But officer, how do you know it was my Sherman Tank?"
   
5. The apples aren't ripe yet, so I don't take the job in Kentucky.

(7) How do you feel about Cannibals?

1. I think we're becoming more accepted into society now.
   
2. I think Cannibals taste lousy without enough ketchup.
   
3. Doesn't matter to me, I'll kill anyone for the right price.
   
4. Since the waiter forgot my salad, I destroy the entire city.

(8) What do you do when you see blood?

1. Start to drool and get out my spoon.
   
2. I smile with the satisfaction that I hit the guy.
   
3. I make sure none of it is mine.
   
4. "You don't need to see my identification. These aren't the droids you're looking for. Move along."

(9) Do you acknowledge advice from your inner child?

1. My first assignment was to kill my inner child.
   
2. I have a new inner child every time I get hungry, and none of them talk.
   
3. I was like this when I was a child, so we always agree.
   
4. I hide in the Surrealist section until the elephants get thirsty.

(10) You discover that your next target is a close friend. How do you react?

1. Friendship is more important than money. I kill my employer instead.
   
2. Money is more important than friendship. I kill the friend, and get paid by my employer.
   
3. I can't decide which is more important, so I kill the friend, get paid, and then kill my employer.
   
4. I take a flying leap over the minefield, and then swim for the canoe.

(11) Have you ever gotten caught up in a mission so much that after it is over you keep reliving parts of it?

1. No way, when it's over, it's over.
   
2. Once, but I'm over it now.
   
3. You mean I'm not in Madagascar anymore?
   
4. I kill the psychiatrist, knife the guards, and ride away on my unicycle.

(12) Did you ever consider another occupation besides being a Mercenary?

1. No.
   
2. Priest or Lion Tamer.
   
3. Comic Book Character or Politician.
   
4. Communist or Preschool Teacher.
   
5. Grocery Bagger or Famous Civil War General
   
6. Aaaaaarrgh!!!! Clowns everywhere!!! Get them away from me!!!!

(13) Are you superstitious?

1. Can I skip this question?
   
2. No.
   
3. Yes, whenever I spill blood I always throw some over my shoulder.
   
4. After escaping from the Gas Chamber, I take a hostage and make my way towards the post office.

14) How do you feel about your fellow Merc-Watch employees?

1. They're Freaks!!! All of them!!! Freaks I tell you!!!

---