We at the Sun are proud to provide the finest in heat, light, and orbital motion. Our variety of available service plans have made us the star of choice for nine planets and hundreds of asteroids.
Space is cold, but you don't have to be! Our nuclear furnaces put out enough heat to keep the surface of your world an ocean of molten rock. Or, perhaps you're looking for something a bit colder, leaving a few things solid so you can construct some buildings. Whether you want one of the extremes or somewhere in between, the Sun can provide what you're looking for! If you can't decide, you can even vary the application of our services through planetary rotation.
Q. If you had 504 trillion paper clips linked together into a chain, how many times could it cross between the Earth and the Sun?
A. Zero! The paperclips would melt long before they reached the sun.
Some people will try to tell you that darkness is mysterious and exciting, but let's face it - it gets boring after a while. Besides, without light, all of your houseplants would die. We provide light in hundreds of wavelengths to suit your individual needs. Just don't stare right at us - we're shy.
Traveling in space is nice, but you don't want to stray too far from your handy source of heat and light, do you? Of course not! We provide a delightful variety of elliptical orbits that allow you to voyage through space without spinning away into the cold oblivion of the void. Also, we'll keep you at the right distance and speed to give you the yearly duration of your choice.