Interview with Albatross the One

Interviewer:Today, we're speaking to Albatross the One, one of the stars of Stuff That Happened to Thing #5. Good afternoon, Mr. the One.
Albat:Avast, what do ya be callin' me? "Mr. the One?" That be ridiculous! Call me Cap'n Albat, or I'll keel haul ya 'n feed yer bones t' the fishes!
Interviewer:Oh. Um...right. So, I see that you talk like a pirate when you're not in an episode.
Albat:O' course I speak like a bloody pirate! I be a pirate, ya foppish bilge waste!
Interviewer:But I thought you were only dressed as a pirate?
Albat:Ya believe that? Ya be a bigger fool 'n I thought.
Interviewer:Right. Well, you've only been part of the story since episode 7. What's it been like trying to fit in and make yourself part of the story after entering at such a late juncture?
Albat:Are ya still blatherin' then? Shiver me' timbers, I shoulda gutted ya when I first set eyes 'n ya.
Interviewer:Please put that cutlass down! No! Aaargh!!

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