| Interviewer: | I'm here today with Hwango the Indistinct, co-star of the immensely popular Stuff That Happened to Thing #5. Good afternoon, Mr. Indistinct. |
| Hwango: | Good Afternoon, Mr. Interviewer. It's a pleasure to be here with you today. |
| Interviewer: | Um…that's nice. So, Mr. Indistinct, tell us what's it's like being part of Stuff That Happened to Thing #5. |
| Hwango: | Well, it's fascinating work, really. I have a couple of great co-stars: Thing #5 and Albatross the One. They're great people to work with. |
| Interviewer: | Er…really? They both seem to try to kill you fairly often. Doesn't that make things a little tense on the set? |
| Hwango: | Not at all. I understand that we're all professionals, and that if the script calls for Thing #5 to dismember me with a tuning fork, then he'll be forced to do it. I don't think it's anything personal. |
| Interviewer: | Oh. Uh, Mr. Instistinct - |
| Hwango: | Please, call me Hwango. |
| Interviewer: | Okay…Hwango. I can't help noticing that you're not acting anything like you do in the story. |
| Hwango: | I'm sorry, should I be? |
| Interviewer: | Well, yes, to be honest. You see, no one wants to find out that you're actually a perfectly rational and reasonable individual. They want to hear you blither gibberish and upset me with your ridiculous antics. |
| Hwango: | Do they? |
| Interviewer: | Well, that was more the idea. These interviews are supposed to be funny, you know. |
| Hwango: | Are they? |
| Interviewer: | Yes, they are. So, why don’t you do something funny, and liven things up? |
| Hwango: | Like what? |
| Interviewer: | I don’t know - you're the one who's supposed to be fun and goofy. |
| Hwango: | I see. Well let me try to get into character. Hello, Mr. Interview Person. |
| Interviewer: | Hello, Hwango. So, what's is like being part of - |
| Hwango: | I have opposable thumbs. |
| Interviewer: | That's nice. But what about - |
| Hwango: | Your head looks like cheese. |
| Interviewer: | Um...Let's talk about - |
| Hwango: | Toot! Toooot! |
| Interviewer: | Look, never mind acting in character. Let's just talk about - |
| Hwango: | I have to go get let Thing hit me with a street lamp now. You can talk to this giant squid while I'm gone. |
| Interviewer: | Aargh! Aargh! Get it off me!! Nooooooo - |
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