The Official Thing #5 Audience Participation Contest

How many times have you dreamed of being part of the wonder and majesty that is Thing #5?

How many times have you thought to yourself, "If only I could have a cameo appearance in Stuff That Happened to Thing #5, I would be a more complete and fulfilled person?"

What would you say if I told you that your chance is finally here? (multiple choice)

  1. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Now my life can be more complete and fulfilled!
  2. Wow, that's fantastic! I'm so excited!
  3. How can I take advantage of this amazing opportunity?
  4. What's the catch? You're not after my soul again, are you?

Well, your chance is finally here! All you have to do is sign over to me all claims to your eternal so- ah, I mean, all you have to do is write to me and tell me why you want to appear in Thing #5. Sometime in the future, I'll look at all the entries and come to a decision based on 4 criteria:

Enter Now! Visit the Contact page and enter now, before the meteors hit us and it's too late!

Disclaimer: Appearance in story is not guaranteed, void where prohibited by law or giant carnivorous pink flamingos, do not play on or around, your results may vary, do not mix with water, this end up, you must be over 18, under 12, or somewhere in between, or at least older than you were 1 year ago, no substitutions, winner to pay all tax, title, fees, and postage, contest not open to residents of Atlantis, keep your arms, legs, tails, tentacles, and heads inside the vehicle at all times, this contest does not form a contract between the contestant and contest operator, may cause drowsiness, do not stand while contest is in motion, trespassers will be ridiculed and then fed to the crocodiles, prices slightly higher in Canada, contains no dairy products, do not drive or operate heavy machinery for at least 2 hours after entering this contest, contest operator not liable for any injury or damages sustained while entering this contest or as a result of winning, keep out of reach of children, contents under pressure, contents under water, made with recycled materials, fnord, not FDA approved, stay behind the white line, contains no preservatives, contains no artificial colors, contains no artificial flavors, contains no flavors of any kind, beware of dog, in the event that contest winner disapproves of their role in the story once the episode has been published the contest winner is entitled to have their name changed and relocate to another country entirely at their own expense, may cause cancer in lab rats, help I'm trapped in a legal office, do not mix with alcohol, professional driver on a closed course, do not try this at home, this contest concocted in a facility that contains peanuts, early withdrawal fees apply, not a significant source of Vitamin C, you must be at least this tall to enter this contest, presence of trademarks does not imply promotion or support.

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